Satirical Comic Admirer Pillows

Vulture wait for customers who buy cigarettes from vending machine.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Czarcasm

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"A haand gel...!?"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

Hot cross buns

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

'As you can see global climate change has encouraged some species to adapt to new environments.'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

Football heads...

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'