Satirical Cartoon Aficionado Pillows

Hospital bed shortages

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'I decided to try Obamanomics out on a personal level... I borrowed a million bucks from China and gave it all to panhandlers.'

Prison olympics

Once upon a time in America...

Time To Go Home

"Ought we to blow the whistle? He is, after all, a senior consultant."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Santa's Helpers

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

God Bless America, God Help Syria

"You may have heard some very slanderous rumours about this company."

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"Blog always makes it all about Blog."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'Is it urgent?'

"You'll go far...you think like a man..."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'