Satirical Business World Observers Gifts

At least if we get busted again, it'll be for white-collar crime.

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

'This year, executive bonuses are tied to performance. You owe us $50,000.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'Thanks to our exensive cost-cutting efforts, we managed to turn a profit.'

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

"Quicksand in a modern office building? Don't be silly."

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

Bribes.

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

"Trump's election has certainly thrown the cat amongst the pigeons... The only way we'll get through it is to embrace this new world, develop our business strategy around it! So the plan is to build a betterer business, a beautiful business... One where i

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

'G'morning, I'm the small business advisor.'

"Thank God your mother didn't live to see what you've become."

'Congratulations, gentlemen! Sales have held steady for another quarter.'

'All those in favor of standing and giving me a slow clap...'

"You've been with us a long time, Winnie, and we're prepared to offer you a generous severance package."

"Just give us the numbers... and don't sugar-coat it."

"Well you're obviously very good at your job so why don't we promote you to something you know nothing about!"

"Unfortunately, Whitcomb, I am suffering from compassion fatigue."

CEO, CFO, MOO.

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

"Nigel - set up a New York Office and have them ring me back immediately.."

"We don't build the toys anymore. We just order them from our factories overseas."

"Good morning team, I'm Jum Carter, your new CEO."