Satire Savants Pillows

'And remember you success will be measured by how much money you donate to the universities alumni fund.'

Illogic Tree

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

Tea Party Democrats

Don't you think you're taking this too seriously? That I might have a long lost twin sister? According to a random person emailing your radio show. That's not proof of anything. Oh yeah. And you believed that Obama could bring us health care reform. Who's the one living in a fantasy world? You've been saving that one up, haven't you? I wonder if my twin shares my voluptuous looks.

Survivalist Training Camp.

"Mother's dying to met you."

Vending machine says: 'No telemarketers will call' 50c.

Smokers' Airline

'I propose we extend the Bush tax cuts for all who earn up to 250,000 dollars. . .'

'It's been seven years bad luck.'

"They're going to support us! The president sent an aircraft carrier up the Afghan coast!"

Donald Glover

"I'm going to use Aversion Therapy. Get better or pay me $300 an hour."

"It's for you."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Hollywood Sign Developers

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Copycats

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Support the Ex-Troops

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Torturing the English Language

Life is for the birds.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Pretty Flowers

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

The height of fashion in 1796