Satire Savvy Pillows

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'He keeps saying that he is a 'self-made-man' it's good of him to take the blame!'

"Let's contemplate how I'd benefit from repealing last week's Brexit decision the good old refined English art?"

"Read my lips!"

"You're exactly the employee we're looking for."

"People, wait! Mandates will take away your personal freedoms!"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Copycats

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Life is for the birds.

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

reincarnated worm...

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

The height of fashion in 1796

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Cord cutter

Skeptic Tank.

Meat Grinder

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"