Sarcastic Weight Watcher Pillows

"I like to mix up my exercise routine, usually with sitting on the sofa drinking beer!"

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"We should never take walks like this more often."

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Scales

Fat man on scales.

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

Weight Gain Denial

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Unfortunately my weight is like the stock market. In the short run it goes up and down, but over the long term in keeps reaching new heights.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'