Sarcastic Sightseer Pillows

"...it was believed that anyone who displeased it would meet with a terrible fate, which of course is complete nonsen..."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"The damsel-in-distress thing is just one of several income streams that I pursue."

"Where the hell were you fourteen years ago?"

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

"Send them in for their Christmas bonuses."

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"Where do you see yourself in five years and what are you doing now to avoid it?"

Signs you're becoming annoying on a really, really long road trip.

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

'Don't worry. I have no intention of drinking the water.'

"Why didn't you bring a cardigan or lightweight jacket?"

"Don't blame me, the tourist brochure says it's one of the World's great spectacles."

Woman on Subway's Thoughts

'You're a decent chap, Holdsworth.'

Airline luggage return: 'Next time, send my luggage to Paris, Texas, and me, to Paris France'

'I'm leaving you because you know the price of everything and the value of nothing.'

Such a Coincidence

"If I step back a little, that should fix it."

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'

"Who'd you say you booked this vacation through? Did you EVEN read the reviews?!"

'He says does anyone know how to fit a skimming device?'

'Fine, thank you. And how are you?'

"Hello, Miss Brophy? How are my dot.com shares doing at the moment?"

Man sees two water towers, one for 'Hot', one for 'Cold'

'It's an exclusive property sir. This is the only one with a price small enough to fit on the wall!'

"This place looks fun!"

"At 10 meters high, this promontory is the highest point in the country. I would say it serves as a perfect symbol of our nation's lack of achievements."