Sarcastic Environmentalist Gifts

'I told you we should have protested against that windfarm'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

Boss, there's no toxic waste anywhere near the café, is there? What is this, the eighties? What's next, you're going to ask me if any whales or baby seals are harmed in the production of our coffee? Are you going to ask me to sing "We are the World" with Stevie Wonder? Are you going to ask me to film a "very special episode" about the dangers of dope? People didn't just care about this stuff in the 1980s, boss. Want me to get some Krazy Glue and fix the "hole in the ozone layer"?

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

How life on Earth really got its start.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

Recycling bottle bank.

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

"The Nominees"

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

'I've decided to make you someone else's problem.'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

Another hot flash?

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

'The fact that you worked as an unpaid intern shows you don't understand the concept of being a banker.'

'To Err is human...but to forgive is against company policy!'

"Can't you just troll me?"