Sarcastic Brunch Aficionado Gifts

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Welcome Spring.

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Full English Breakfast.

"Great coffee, Carole."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

"I don't see any mention of quicksand skills on your resume."

Lunch

'And the good news is you can finish out your 'Employee-of-the-Month' term before cleaning out your desk.'

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

Ladies who lunch.

"With any entrée, you get unlimited access to the trough."

'Good evening sir, I hope you haven't been waiting long.'

All Day Deals!

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"The Mashed Potato Casserole with Creamed Spinach, Baked Egg and Garlic is half price tonight, sir. It's horrible."

"There is no 'I' in 'team', however there are several 'I's in 'I'm the boss and you do what I say'."

F&E Diner. Special. Eggloo. Tink tink. The "Eggloo" is a frozen omelet!

Brunch for Cows

"Yeah, these things smell disgusting, but if you line your nest with them, you get insulation and it helps to keep the eggs warm..."

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."