Sarcastic Supper Goer Gifts

"The Mashed Potato Casserole with Creamed Spinach, Baked Egg and Garlic is half price tonight, sir. It's horrible."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'Good evening sir, I hope you haven't been waiting long.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

"I'd recommend this."

'This is the worst wine I've ever tasted--I'll take 20 cases.'

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

Your Dinner is in the Tin

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Hugo's in a peevish mood today, I'd finish that broccoli if I were you

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'I like home cooking if it's in someone else's home.'

'You can eat whatever you like on this diet, and here's a list of whatever you like.'

"The name refers to the seating, not the cuisine."

'I'll have a BLT sandwich -- hold the 'B'.'

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

I've always wondered why waiters in fancy restaurants wear a napkin over their arm. Because when you see the check, you'll want something to cry into.

"I don't see one damn thing we haven't eaten before."

"The only way I lost a few ounces with my activity tracker was when I took it off."

'You're problem is you don't think big enough.'

'I was going to send back this dreadful wine - but then I realized it's the perfect match for your dreadful chicken.'

'The food is disgusting.' 'And such small portions.'

'Excuse me, ma'am, there's a fly in my...'

"Yes, we have several specials. But if we offered them to everybody, they wouldn't be special, would they?"

'I know 24 ways to kill a man - add another if I don't get a drink.'