Sap Collector Gifts

Tree sap drips makes man need the toilet.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Official Team Cap With Beard

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I want one of those!"

"How can you say my hat is on back to front when you don't know which way I'm going to go?"

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

First and last day as census taker...

'How old is this vase?'

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

Ed's Salary Cap

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."