Sap Collector T-Shirts

Tree sap drips makes man need the toilet.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

Official Team Cap With Beard

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"How can you say my hat is on back to front when you don't know which way I'm going to go?"

"I want one of those!"

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

First and last day as census taker...

'How old is this vase?'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Octopus Baseball Fan

Ed's Salary Cap

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.