Santa Schemers Gifts

Revenge on Santa

Punk Reindeer

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"Do you call this a business plan?"

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

'Things look much better long-term, once we pass the statute of limitations.'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

And here is where we stooped to the level of the competition.

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

"I don't think much of their defence."

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

'Just tell him you've been good. Don't overdo it.'

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

"We're fighting them in zone A, they're our allies in zone B, and we don't know what to do in zone C."

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

About Santa 2017.

"We love your results. We're just a weeny bit concerned about your methods."

"Just take the free kick, and stop wasting time."

"Boss, there's a rumor going around that someone lost a $1,000 bill in the cafe. There are like 200 people out there." "Interesting. And I assume they're all looking for the $1,000 bill. I assume they don't want anyone else to know about it before they find it." "I assume each of them is buying our food and drink so the others won't suspect they're here with ulterior motives." "I wonder who could have possibly spread such a rumor in the first place?" "Very bad man."

'Oh, that's Dan, the congressman's right AND left hand man'

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

"Better use the ink wedge."

A trap for Santa

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

"Yes, I gave him enough rope, and NO, he didn't hang himself!"

'Boswell, it's been brought to my attention that your hidden agenda is in direct conflict with my hidden agenda.'