Santa Devotee Gifts

Dec. 26

'You weren't very good this year, so instead of that video game system you wanted, you'll be getting an educational toy.'

'After thousands of miles and millions of homes, I finally get to rela...'

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

Twas 6 days before Christmas when Santa heard a ker-plunk! He rushed to the door, and found the ice cap had shrunk...

Big Santa is watching you.

"Better get the anti-freeze, love!"

"He suffers from Niceness Oppositional Syndrome..."

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Thomas Hardy

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland.

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

We've Placed These Cookies Here To Learn More About You.

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

Church Restoration Fund.

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

One book... One book... One book...

'How did you EXPECT me to come back?'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"We may be in trouble. . . the prosecutions expert witness can usually tell if a defendants been good or bad!"