Sanitizing Superhero Gifts

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

Soap Versus Coronavirus

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

Days without an incident.

Criminal Germs

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

Insurance company agreeing workers' compensation policy in a demolition company.

Covid Vaccine

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."

Rudolph goes green (with his new compact fluorescent nose)

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

"I'd never have imagined such innovative ways of wearing this cape!"

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

'I'm just so worried about mercury in the water and sulfur dioxide in the air.'

'This hospital certainly takes cleanliness seriously.'

IPCC Climate Report

Hygiene the best vaccine

Walking the Oil Plank.

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

"Why did I come in here?"

'We had a fireman come to class today. Do you know what to do if you're ever caught in a burning building? Just stop, drop and roll...'

'There was a what in your soup?'

'I thought you said you were only collecting fortnightly from now on.'

Take no shortcuts! Assess the risks!...

'So you're the boy who wants to be a health and safety officer.'