Sanitizing Superhero Pillows

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

Soap Versus Coronavirus

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

Days without an incident.

Criminal Germs

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

Insurance company agreeing workers' compensation policy in a demolition company.

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."

Covid Vaccine

Rudolph goes green (with his new compact fluorescent nose)

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

The Downside Of Being Superman, The Man Of Steel

"I'd never have imagined such innovative ways of wearing this cape!"

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

'I'm just so worried about mercury in the water and sulfur dioxide in the air.'

'This hospital certainly takes cleanliness seriously.'

Walking the Oil Plank.

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

IPCC Climate Report

Hygiene the best vaccine

"Why did I come in here?"

'We had a fireman come to class today. Do you know what to do if you're ever caught in a burning building? Just stop, drop and roll...'

Take no shortcuts! Assess the risks!...

'I thought you said you were only collecting fortnightly from now on.'

'There was a what in your soup?'