Cleaning Superhero Pillows

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

The household cavalry

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

Soap Versus Coronavirus

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

Covid Vaccine

Giant sandwich bags.

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."

It wasn't easy, but we finally plugged the hole.

Rudolph goes green (with his new compact fluorescent nose)

Human Dust Buster

'Why is it I can see what needs doing around here and you can't? . . . I know what cures that. . . 'Chores-ercise'.'

Grooming for beginners.

"I'd never have imagined such innovative ways of wearing this cape!"

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

4 Great Life Hacks for the Holidays!

Our house is a mess! Life's messy, I need to simplify. You don't have the nerve to do what needs to be done. We left our laundry on the sofa for you, mom! You're so wrong. I can too get rid of my kids. You'll save tons on cleaning supplies alone!

Nature Scents Research Department.

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

'I'm just so worried about mercury in the water and sulfur dioxide in the air.'

"I want three of you serving customers all day - two if we get busy."

A woman's work is never done.