Sandal Aficionado Gifts

'Do you think that's wise?'

Sundial Time

Laughing Zone Ahead

A Manicure

"What'll ya have?"

"It's running five minutes fast."

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

Mary Trump

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

"No religious nuts!"

Evolution into a pair of sandals.

Tennis corruption

Hanging out your shingle

Being Pampered.

'If you ask me the time again, I'll punch you!'

Way to go

Trump's Nuclear Classified Document Scandal

"The president's parade"

"High Pressure Area"

"Bugger, some whistleblower has blabbed about how much we spent to stop whistleblowers blabbing about..."

Scandal Du Jour

"I didn't think our breakup would leave you so crushed."

'When did your breezy disdain turn into sneering condescension?'

'Eisenhower had an affair - but it was during the years of 'don't ask, don't tell.''

"Listen...Tonight I'll decide when I've had enough"

Road sign reads; 'Welcome to First Impression. Lasting Impression Next 3 Exits.'

"It's a polo pony"

As one of my last ceremonial functions... I now pardon these killers of unarmed men, women and children...

"Stop. I've got sand in my shoe again."

A*se End of Nowhere POPULATION: YOU

Slim's Baroque-Bach Saloon. I know you love classical music, Slim, but

Trumpy the Pig

"Your actions are tanking both the Dow and the porn industry."

"Would you vote for someone who didn't have an interesting private life?"

"What you call a lump of rock, Zog, I call a timepiece."