Sand Skeptic Gifts

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Sunbathers.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

Building giant sand pies.

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"Thanks again, kid!"

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Weight Gain Denial

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"Ain't no denying it son. It's a genuine fact that the surfers rule."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'Shall we dig him up, we haven't had an ice cream in over an hour?'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Science deniers Soc.

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

'Well, how do I know you're not sitting on a deck chair?'

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"