Sand Skeptic Gifts

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Sunbathers.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

Building giant sand pies.

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"Thanks again, kid!"

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Weight Gain Denial

"Ain't no denying it son. It's a genuine fact that the surfers rule."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'The sun is up. What do you feel like doing today?'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

Science deniers Soc.

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Doing Something About the Weather

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.