Samurais Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: samurai armour.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

The interested bystanders.

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

'He'd fall over backwards to help anybody.'

Uncle Sam argues about pollution with China.

"Young man, you're the only one who bothered to stop!"

Dog Food Co.

Ordinary people trying to get something done, Inc.'

"Hoppy are the peace makers"

'My wife wanted a fur coat so, for her birthday, I got her a starter kit.'

You Know It's Hot When. . . Walking on the Grass Burns your Feet. . .

Do you need a hand?

"No, 'tofu' isn't short for 'toe fungus'!"

"Plan B is to commit ritual suicide."

"I didn't know my eyebrows looked like that."

"Typical !, You wait here ages for a samuri and then seven come all at once."

'And the Mannies goes to . . . Dan Danielson for successfully carrying 17 bags of groceries in one trip.'

Air Vent

Good Samaritan/Bad Samaritan.

'As a team we can create problems none of us could cause as individuals.'

'Hi, it's me - I'm under a train.'

Acts of kindness and selfishness.