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Top Five Grilled Cheeses of 2022

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Pasta

London GPs could become an endangered species.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

Women who Read Too Much

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

NEW FALL LINEUP

Oysters in June - delicious!

"Keep a television remote zapper handy along with a bottle of scotch whisky."

'May I recommend the monk fish, sir?

The good news is that you've cured me of my pornography addiction � The bad news is that now I'm addicted to Rorschach ink blots.

'This wine doesn't need to breathe...it needs CPR!'

Fishing Quota - "Oh no! We've gone over the limit."

"Yes, the steaks have never been higher."

Two Men Having Showdown On Small Hill-Top

The Grim Peeper makes a house call.

'If you're in a hurry, why did you order the snails?'

'Ta da! A preview of coming extractions!'

For the grey nomad, life on the road had its challenges.

Pi-thon

"This IS Cinderella Sire, you should see her two ugly sisters!"

Conveyor belt sushi

"The end is near, now available on Amazon Prime."

'What makes him a wine snob? - He knows more than I do.'

I need a sample of your DNA. Bug off, greed ball. Someone stole a pastry. I have a right to police my own cafe. Oh, fine. Here's some DNA. Splat! Nice aim. This does not happen on CSI!!

"It's only panic alarm system... it goes off every time management suggest another reorganisation."

'I've never seen so many chinese restaurants.'

"He's not a third- rate second-rate artist. He's a first-rate third-rate artist."

Man confronts death and taxes at the same time.