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Women who Read Too Much

"There's nothing like coiling up with a good book."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

Pasta

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

Fairy tale

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

"Now, can you explain that with a parable?"

The princess and the key

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"So you don't want to come along?"