Story Savorer Gifts

Women who Read Too Much

"There's nothing like coiling up with a good book."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Pasta

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

Fairy tale

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

The princess and the key

"Now, can you explain that with a parable?"

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'