Salon Visiting Pillows

'You want a shampoo?... Great! My hands could do with a good wash.'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

What price beauty?

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

GURLERS

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

"So what's your success rate?"

Beauty Bee

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

Your hats off! Salon now open

Galoots in cahoots

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

"I'm just going to te hairdressers. They've got some new gossip in."

God's Manicure.

"This time lick my entire body."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

Nail Bar

50 Shades of Brown: Tanning Salon

Queen with a crown-shaped hairdryer.