Salmon Fan Gifts

"How goes the farm-raised salmon?"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Civilized Salmon

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'I just know I'm going to get a bite soon.'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

'Catching flying fish...'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

Fresh fish

'To think we used to complain about a little flotsam and jetsam.'

Sea Horse outside saloon

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

"You have sewage between your teeth."

Celebrate National Submarine Day.

"Do you think there's life out there?"

'Check it out: I can look you in the eyes!'

'Thanks for helping me out with this prank - I just love freaking out people!'