Salamander Fan Gifts

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

That one has all the batteries!

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Lazy Octopus

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"Nuts to you, too."

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

I told you we were late!

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'