Salmon Aficionado Gifts

'I would go with salmon on this one.'

"Careful Suzie, don't get too fresh. They might try to follow us upstream!"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

Jurassic Pork

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

Civilized Salmon

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

Platter confusion.

Cat to fisherman about his caught fish: 'Let me clean them.'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

"This place could use a moat!"

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"I'll have the Mediterranean truffle sea bass, pan seared, and thrown into my mouth from across the room."

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Bad Halloween party games #7: Bobbing for Lobsters

Spilled Milk

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."