Salmon Enthusiast Gifts

Caution Salmon Crossing

'I had a great day down at the stream! I caught six salmon and scared the pants off three fly fisherman!'

'We're back. So how was your summer?'

'How much did you lose on your salmon diet?'

'Try the salmon. I find the omega-3 fatty acids, plus the mercury, enhance my penchant for aggressive behavior.'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

Your lobster was off!

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

The Da Vinci Cod

"Seriously, you looked so perfect that at first, I thought you were a lure..."

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'I don't mind being caught,it's that kissing I hate.'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'First he warms our bowl, now he's feeding us... And you thought he wasn't friendly.'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"How's the salmon?"

Prawn Cocktail Please

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'Fancy a liquid lunch?'