Salmon Chaser Gifts

The Salmon Fisherman

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

Breakthrough

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Cat Zoom Meeting

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

Man indignant at having caught no fish

'This is no game! This is who I am!'

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

"He chases submarines."

'No, and I mean it! We just went for a walk an hour ago.'

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'I'm NOT sweating -- those are OCEANS!'

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Running of the the chickens!? This is crazy! Dad, no one celebrates Hispanic Heritage Month like this!"

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

"Ain't no denying it son. It's a genuine fact that the surfers rule."

"So what's on the agenda today? Let's see--nap, then count my spots, then nap again, then chase my tale, nap yet again, then beg for good, nap, scratch at the door, finally come in and find a spot to go to sleep. Just not enough time in the day."

Shopping Torture

'The woman who crossed the street when she say Marmaduke. . . I think she was his groomer.'

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Don't you miss the thrill of the chase?'

Man on motorbike.

"Stop chasing my tail? I'd be lost if I had no goal in life."

Athlete being chased by a dog.

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet