Sales Maverick Gifts

"Don't be kind. No-one makes budget by being kind..."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'What do you do with the time you save?'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

The Salesman

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Grandma's caf

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Trade Show Sherpas

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

Elevator Pitch

Dow Jones drop

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'The market shifted on me.'

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

'Have you any W fronts?'

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'