Sales Magic Enthusiast Gifts

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

The Salesman

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

"I got it in the sales."

Seeing progression motivates.

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

Whatever works for you.

"I think you'd make a persuasive salesman."

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

"We're targeting a specific demographic: the utterly clueless."

'But what do you sell?'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'The sales team did all they could, so I'd have to say the blame for that must fall on the consumer.'

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

'Our profit dropped because half of our salesmen are in 'How to increase the profit' - training, sir.'

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

"As you can see, it's pretty simple - just find the customer and make him buy."

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."