Sales Manager Gifts

'By setting the sales goal after the sales, we're able to consistently maintain an above average sales quota.'

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'The sales team did all they could, so I'd have to say the blame for that must fall on the consumer.'

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

"Eddie, my favourite rep - you've got three minutes."

'At our last meeting we decided to go for broke. Well, mission accomplished.'

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"How are my sales doing?"

'How did you arrive at this price?' - 'Our computer has a new random generator.'

'Get me public relations!'

'We've broken your list into eighty-four subgroups. Our work here is done.'

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

"I love your optimism."

'Doug, Jeremy! Get back in here! The sales graph was upside-down!'

"As you can see here, there were a few downticks, followed by a few upticks, finishing off with some antics."

'Did you make any sales?' 'I got two orders: 'get out' and 'stay out!''

"Very good. Now go out there and convince others."

'And right here they merged...'

'We're looking for a sales manager that can take our sales momentum, during December and January, and carry it over for the year.'

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"The dip in sales seems to coincide with the decision to eliminate sales staff."

'The problem seems to be pointing in your direction, Ferguson.'

"What do you mean 'Lets get rid of the middlemen' we are the middle men!"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

Man stabbed by fallin arrow on wall chart.

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'It worked. We expressed remorse, asked for forgiveness and sales are up sixty percent.'

'Please send us an optimist to run the sales department, and a pessimist to run the credit department.'

'I believe it's time we stopped relying so heavily on instinct.'

Team of happy men and women in an 'A Team' van

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

"Now at this point reality intruded."