Sales Managers Gifts

'Our actual performance over the last quarter depends much on one's perspective. Take, for example, this perspective.'

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

'I knew we should have planned our sales strategy in advance.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

You've renamed your small coffee? It's called a big now. That's absurd! It's the same size - the smallest size! It's marketing hooey! Why not call this napkin a scone?! Careful. Huh? Brilliant! Sale on scones! Oh dear.

"Hey hey, My my, the sales report makes me cry."

'Don't say I didn't warn you. The rising tide of consumer indifference is finally catching up with us.'

'He said if sales don't improve he's going to send us to bed without any tea !'

"You're the perfect customer and I'm the perfect salesman. A match made in heaven."

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

"I'm taking out some insurance in case I don't meet this month's sales target."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'