Sales Team Gifts

"Legal thinks it looks like Satan, Marketing thinks Batman."

'As you can see, your sales region is quite large.'

'Wow!! Do I ever like the flavour of the month!!'

Hosiery Division - ...This is your last chance to pull up your socks!

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

Sales Dept. is Out to Hunch

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."