Sales Team Member Gifts

"The Sales Department suggests we teach Customer Service personnel how to assist customers without telling them where to go."

Do you remember when all we had to do was sell stuff

'Confident and assertive is great for meetings with customers but, in a meeting with managers, you're supposed to be groveling and servile.'

'It's a vest for life.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."