Sales Assistant T-Shirts

"By the authority vested in me by Bloomingdale's, how may I help you?"

'Excuse me!..D'you work here?'

"We hired him because he's the only one who knows how they work."

"Listen to the customers more carefully Tracey. Mr Jones has a pain in the backside, he didn't say you were one."

'Our prices are drastically marked down from their drastic markup!'

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

"May I help you, Katy Jones, class of 2016, second cousin to Jim Hale and owner of a cat named Ollie?"

'If you've got a complaint, please press 1. If we can help you to find something to complain about, please press 2.'

'The top and shorts are a perfect match.' (Sales assistant to customer in a jigsaw outfit).

'Neck a little tight, sir?'

'And the attached headlights are sure to grab any buck's attention.'

'The manager says 'tough sh*t'.'

'Got anything for around

Shoe shop

'Do you sell cologne in bulk?'

'I liked you in the horn-rimmed ones best.'

'Absolutely - it does make you look thinner!'

'The sales assistant said they were 'on trend'...'

'Phew! - Thank goodness today is over. Now we can take off these ridiculous glasses.'

'I doubt you will have what I'm looking for, young man - an eye-level grill?'

'Which one feels uncomfortable?' - 'They both do, you've put them on the wrong feet.'

'All of our man bras are designed with the end user in mind and snap easily in the front.'

"I'm thinking something in a cheddar."

"Take all the time you need, but be advised due to supply chain issues and rising inflation the price may be adjusted accordingly."

"Just how slightly imperfect are they?"

"Now, this little scarf is just to give you that completely dressed feeling."

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"Attention, Kmart employees."

"Hold on. What about this stack of books in matching colors?"

"You know what they say, spend for the job that you want."

Alien sales clerk.

"That's Mrs. Bigfoot. I'll let you take her."

"Profiling!"

"Have a nice day?"

Shop Manager Tries To Disguise His Inability to Use the Cash Register.