Salesperson T-Shirts

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

'Why do I have to go first?' 'There's no I in team, Dave.'

"That's what I want to say. See if you can find some statistics to prove it."

"But on the positive side, money can't buy happiness, so who cares?"

"It's guaranteed for the life of the product which, obviously, ended when it broke."

"Batteries not included."

"There is only one explanation..."

'Almost finished.'

"While your salesman checks with the manager, could I interest you in a dental exam?"

"We can't agree on a size."

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

"Sorry. I was expecting the lady. I can see you're busy. I'll call sometime. We'll do lunch."

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.'

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

'Product diversification, I like that.'

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

'It's so new we don't know what it does, but nobody else has it so we're selling the hell out of it.'

'How are we going to achieve our goal this year?'

"I'm getting the fire-breathing dragon with wings. He wanted $200, but I talked him down to fifty bucks."

Boss loads sales people with paperwork and wonders why they aren't selling

'So, Smith, how do you feel negotiations are going?'

'Can't you see I'm busy?' - Machine gun salesman rejected during battle

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.' (black and white).

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe."

Statistics: "Here's the sales graph...which way around would you like it?"

"It's too easy to lose a business card. A rubber stamp, you'll remember."

A vending machine is dispensing free lunches for $10

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

"Naturally, there's a trade-off for its exceptional fuel economy."

"We're changing our sales plan. From now on, instead of trying to get lots of customers, we're going to find just one really,really rich person to buy a whole lot of stuff."

In the interest of bringing greater creativity into the workplace...

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'