Salesmanship T-Shirts

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

Horse dealer trying to sell an unfit horse by suggesting that it will keep improving

The undisputed king of stepladder salesman.

"It's obviously very fond of you, sir!"

"This one's got two trilobites of memory!"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

'Heaven forbid you need them, but this model's air bags are breast shaped.'

"As the saying goes: 'Don't bite the hand that feeds you.' As the salesman's saying goes: 'Don't laugh about the hand that gave you way too much for your lousy product as long as the hands' owner can hear you'."

Door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman sees sign on door of house stating: Beware of Wife.

"I'm such a good salesman I could sell underarm deodorant to the Venus de Milo."

Net Etiquette

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution