Sales Agent T-Shirts

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"The house has a very open floor plan."

Landing That Tough Account

'So he said the last place he visited, told him to come here?'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Killer Executive Suits.

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'