Salary Satire Enthusiast Gifts

'Just because I'm Overpaid doesn't mean You're Underpaid.'

'...and then he talked about climate change saying I will get my raise when hell freezes over.'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

I think, theerfore I am underpaid

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

"I'm aware that you brought a high-powered agent...are you aware that this job pays $26,382 and nine cents per year?"

When staffing agencies screw up.

"I started at the bottom and worked my way up to not caring."

'Job satisfaction is up, because there are fewer jobs.'

"Great work, Jackson! I'm going to raise your salary by 7 downsizings."

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

'I don't think I could have picked a tougher line of work.'

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

'I'm looking for someone to bask in my glow.'

"That sweet raise everybody's been excited about is finally here. Enjoy it!"

Ant Drones

Lobster a la Riseholme!

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

"Thank god for Sudoku."

'We value you in ways that cannot be expressed in money.'

' I earn a six-figure income, if you count those two little numbers after the decimal point.'

"Being God just doesn't pay as much as you'd think it would."

"We'll begin boarding our first-class passengers after a ten-minute pause in honor of the even wealthier people who fly in private jets."

"This job starts out at $50,000 and tops out at $75,000 after three years."

'Of course I'm overpaid, everyone is overpaid!'

"My youngest is at the age when she can barely comprehend cost effective analysis."

'It's a great title, but the job pays minimum wage.'

"Do you have other references? We feel your guardian angel would be biased in your favor."

Bar bouncer resumes.

No, Dad, they didn't give me a key to the 'executive washroom' with my promotion. These days you get the pin number to the unisex lounge.

'Bash Street Acadamy - Logistical Director. '