Salary Enthusiast Gifts

'Now that you've hired me, who do I see about asking for a raise?'

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

"For the first year, you get a cost-of-living raise every three months. Then, you hit the donut hole."

'I know it's a boring make-work job but I like it because it's a make-salary job.'

'It doesn't bother me that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm paid vast amounts of money.'

"Your sign is rather appropriate, because I haven't had a raise in five years."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Resume Dumpers

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'In the economy, money is the lure.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'Great visual support.'

'Money, I'm home!'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Take a letter,'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

Happy looking manager with a bag of money

"I don't know, probably lawyers."

Why do you want a career in the bank?