Compensation Enthusiast Gifts

"The salary is excellent and the benefits are outstanding. So... which would you prefer?"

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

'Actually I'd like to claim against you. I tripped over your junk mail.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'I brought in a big order and my boss gave me a feather for my cap.'

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

'We've ended up paying our 'golden hellos', golden 'return from holidays' and Prickman wanted a golden 'thank you' after coming back from a toilet break!'

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

'I could be happy with less.. but I'd rather be ecstatic with more.'

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

"God it was rough coming into the office this morning after the awards ceremony" "It must have been, you work two doors down"

GP pay award wheel.

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

'Retire now and we'll throw in this set of steak knives! But wait, that's not all...'

Will work for humongous bonus.

"Fixed-term contracts, social benefits, pension plans, health insurance. . . we have nothing to complain about. And that's why we're on strike!"

He must have given Johnson a rise - he just did a back-flip.

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

Employee Benefits

'Today, tax free municipals rose...on news that what's important is not how much you earn, but how much you get to keep!'

'I can't hear you. Fred, did you get the raise?'