Salary Day Enthusiast Gifts

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

"Casual Payday."

Resume Dumpers

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

"I know you're the quote, 'company's envelope orderer', but change the acronym."

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

'I've reconsidered your request for a pay rise, and I've decided that you do deserve one after all.'

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

'I received matching offers.'

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

'I warned you not to ask for a shorter work week.'

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'I'd love to have whatever job you have left.'

Very well, Mr Potter. I blinked first. You're hired.

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

"I'm really impressed with your work ethic."

"Maybe we apply as a group....crowdsourcing employment."

'We're looking for someone who would be comfortable toiling in obscurity for at least thirty years.'

'I'm going to write a salary figure on this piece of paper. You tell me if it is acceptable or too high.'

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'Here are today's numbers: I earn $1369 per day, an increase of $548 per day over my previous job...'

Personnel. We're overstaffed right now. With the amount of work I do, I'd hardly be noticed.

'Since you were previously self-employed, you shouldn't mind working for us without a health plan.'