Saintly Sender Pillows

'This is an authentic Valentine -- I got it from Saint Valentine!'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

Halo Frisbee.

"That's the preacher's dog."

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

Next World Tours

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

'Be good! Santa's watching!'

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

'Just tell him you've been good. Don't overdo it.'

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

"If you don't bring me what I want, next year I'll go straight to the manufacturer in China!"

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

"The lost password department's that way."

"Another one asking me to fix the climate crisis."

'If you're a good boy, Santa will bring you tires next year.'