Saintly Satire Seeker Pillows

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"I'm sorry, but we're not into do-overs."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Meet the Enemy

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Flyfishing for dummies.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'Stick them up...'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"Beware of the frog"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Coronavirus Waves

Quality Control

How to win friends and Influenza People.

"I'm having my entrails read."

Torturing the English Language

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."