Saintly Sapience Explorer Gifts

'Well, I've never seen this before. . . give me a minute. . . I'll need to ask the boss about this one.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

'You must heal yourself.'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Did you have a cat?"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"All the celebrities come here."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'

Terms and conditions

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."