Saintly Sensation Gifts

Proposed solution to repugnant and obsolete St. Patrick's Day parade: add more saints.

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"It's true: no more burpees."

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Amy Winehouse

Next World Tours

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

'I'm good. How are you?'

'Sodding Sat Nav.'

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

"The lost password department's that way."

Virgin Mary: World's Best Mom.

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

'Gee, why didn't I think of that?'

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

Holy monk.

Things to do in the area.

"You have a mask?"

That's okay --- Nobody would get in if we included cheating on diets.

"You'll soon get used to it, being deceased is fun."

Latte Day Saints

Monk

Now I understand why fatigue and muscle cramps are listed as possible side effects.

"Hey, great death!"

Saint Christopher

We don't have a 'reasonable doubt' rule up here!

"When I found out I couldn't take it with me, I left it all to charity."

"I remember behavior like that being followed by fire and brimstone."

"You're just in time. We're having vegetarian chili tonight."

"I'm sorry, but we're not into do-overs."

'Well, I've never seen this before. . . give me a minute. . . I'll need to ask the boss about this one.'

Covid and Concerts

"Only St. Bernards are allowed in."