Saintly Sensation Gifts

Proposed solution to repugnant and obsolete St. Patrick's Day parade: add more saints.

"It's true: no more burpees."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Next World Tours

'I'm good. How are you?'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

'Sodding Sat Nav.'

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

"The lost password department's that way."

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

'Gee, why didn't I think of that?'

Holy monk.

"You'll soon get used to it, being deceased is fun."

Monk

"You have a mask?"

Saint Christopher

"You're just in time. We're having vegetarian chili tonight."

"When I found out I couldn't take it with me, I left it all to charity."

"I remember behavior like that being followed by fire and brimstone."

We don't have a 'reasonable doubt' rule up here!

"Hey, great death!"

Covid and Concerts

"I'm sorry, but we're not into do-overs."

'Well, I've never seen this before. . . give me a minute. . . I'll need to ask the boss about this one.'

'This is an authentic Valentine -- I got it from Saint Valentine!'

"Hold on, I have to buzz you in."