Saint Peter's Club Member Gifts

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

James Barrie.

Pixie Dust $2.00 A Handfull

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

Men drinking

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

Hook couldn't believe he hadn't thought of inviting his brother, Captain Flyswat, before.

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

No atheists in Heaven.

Santa accepts cookies on a website.

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

ESP Clinic

'It suprises me you want your files organized.

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

"Well, if you know of a better military re-enactment club, go to it."

'Don't be a fool, Kevin! How do you know that he's a certified teaching pro?'

'How do I know you're legit?'

What is an expert?

"Carl made retirement plans with his money, but not with his time."

Door-to-Door Agnostic

Punch Initials - S (or O)

'This is all just some political scare-tactic.'

Saint Patrick in a Basket