Saint-ish Humor Lovers Pillows

"You've been randomly selected for additional screening."

St. Elmo's fired.

"That's our new church mascot."

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"In heaven there are no trees."

Pope Benedict at Easter

"Oh yeah – They really are forever – Cool huh?"

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

Saint Gustaf, patron of pranksters and practical jokers. Martyred by angry mob in 725.

Chicken nesting in a monk's head.

'That's St Joseph. He's the patron saint of baby aspirin.'

"I wasn't responsible for those sins."

'Pig flu??!'

The Pee and Pray - for today's busy Christian.

Collection plate at church with signs of the credit cards the church will take.

Saint Peter using a security screening.

How To Saint . . .

'I'd buy her a drink, but I don't think I can do that up here.'

"When I found out I couldn't take it with me, I left it all to charity."

"Should we just write them off as a tragic mistake..?"

"Let's get to know him. He's being fast tracked to sainthood."

'You weren't always faithful so some of your prayers went to God's spam.'

'Even if you were always Mother's little angel, I still have to look it up.'

"I see you're of good character."

"Taking all year to make your stock and then giving it all away is a terrible business model. You're fired!"

'No kidding? Are you really the patron saint of tax loopholes?'

"And getting into the garbage on October six 1993 was that fun too?"

Remove Belt & Shoes

Pope still on tight shedule.

"That's St. Anthony of Padua. He finds every ball I hit in the woods."

"You want to appeal my decision? We aren't running a democracy up here."

"OMG"

"One more round and then we should probably order."

"Hold on, I have to buzz you in."