Safety Sign Humorist Gifts

"It says `caution: water may come out of tap under high pressure.`"

Climb to Safety in Case of Alien Invasion

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Safety Barriers

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'I baked it especially for you.'

Living life dangerously 2010.

Athlete

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Security at the Smaller Airports

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

'I'd think twice before picking c-4.'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).